Invisible

I'm working on a story. This one has been slow in writing. Mostly, I haven't spent the time with it that I should. I write many pages on it and then I get bored and give up for months and then go back to it. At this rate I might not ever finish it. I am still committed to it and am in a phase of being interested in it again. I am want to know what people think, maybe the acclamation of the masses is what I need to spur me into a writing frenzy. We can only hope. I am posting the first paragraph. I would appreciate any feedback you have. Specifically I want to know if after reading this paragraph you want to read more or are you bored right from the start?

I am invisible. When I was young, we, my brothers and I, used to pick what superpower we wanted to have and then we would play super heroes and villains. I always chose invisibility. I felt so powerful. I felt like I always won because I could claim to always be in the right place or avoid fatal blows, after all I was invisible. My brothers, after a time, didn’t want to play with me; they said I was no fun. If I wanted to play with them I had to pick a super power that fit certain stipulations. I am stubborn. Strong willed is what I call it. I chose to play by myself. I used to think invisibility was a super power, now I know that it is quite common. Others don’t notice that people can be invisible. Only those of us who become invisible know that this power exists. I may not have a super power, but being invisible is powerful. For only those who are invisible know how to make everyone forget them, even those who love them the most. One at a time, people fade from your life as you become invisible to them or maybe it is they who gradually become invisible to you. I’m not really sure which way it goes, all I know is that friends are the first to fade followed by your children, father, brothers, husband, and last and most painfully mother. I am forgotten. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this excerpt. Stay tuned for more exciting writing. 

May 24th

To many of you the 24th of may is of little significance. This year it falls on a Thursday which is teasing you that your weekend has arrived. You might be busy planning for the weekend, if you work a job with regular hours and holidays, you probably have Monday off for Memorial Day. Today is significant for me because I took my car in and passed my emissions and safety inspection. It is always a relief to know that you don't have to spend a lot of money to make sure your car is street worthy. I do need to replace two of my tires soon. Other than that, today has been composed of meetings and errand and phone calls.

Although a regular sort of day for me many things of import have happened on the 24th of May.
1218: The Fifth Crusade leaves Acre for Egypt.
1738: John Wesley is converted thus launching the Methodist movement.
1798: Irish Rebellion against British rule begins.
1830: Mary Had a Little Lamb is published, Thank you Sarah Josepha Hale.
1844: Samuel Morse sends a message to his assistant to inaugurate the first telegraph line that says, "What hath God wrought." from Number 23:23
1861: During the American Civil War, Union troops occupy Alexandria, Virginia.
1915: Italy declares war on Austria-Hungary, World War 1
1930: The first woman to fly solo from England to Australia lands in Darwin, Amy Johnson.
1941: The German battleship Bismark sinks the pride of the Royal Navy, HMS Hood during World War II
1991: Eritrea gains independence from Ethiopia
1992: The last Thai dictator, General Suchinda Kraprayoon resigns.
2001: Sherpa Temba Tsheri becomes the youngest person to summit Mount Everest at age 15.

These are just a small amount of things that have happened on this day.
Here is a sampling of notable people born  on May 24th:
15 BC Julius Ceasar Germanicus
1686: Gabriel Fahrenheit
1819: Queen Victoria
 1874: Princess Marie of Hesse and by Rhine
1885: Susan Sutherland Isaacs
1895: Samuel Irving Newhouse
1941: Bob Dylan

So you see this seemingly mundane day has seen many important events. For some of you this is an anniversary or birthday and is already memorable, but for the rest of you, what can you do to make May 24, 2012 memorable for you or for someone else.

My thanks to Wikipedia for providing me with plentiful information about May 24th.

Too colourful

In English class we learn about similes and metaphors. When we write teachers encourage us liberally sprinkle our writing with descriptive language. Great writing uses descriptions artfully, delicately. Just like a painter knows that skies contain many colors besides blue, white, grey, and black so the writer knows that the right words may not be the obvious description. I love a good description, but it should not stand out as a description good or otherwise unless your goal is to locate descriptions, it should blend into the story giving it a spice of color, but not a flavor discordant with the theme.
I started reading a book several days ago. I was initially excited to read it as it follows my favorite genre and appeared to have an interesting plot line. On the first page the voice of one of the characters is described, "he whispered in his steel-rasp and Southern-honey-pecan voice." A steel rasp is a fabulous description for a voice. I can hear the sound and anticipate the words that this character will say. A Southern honey pecan is also a good description. It reminds me of comfort and warmth. I became distracted, however, when both were put together. It jolted me out of the story as I tried to figure out what kind of voice could be both honey pecan and steely rasp. I continued reading. In the next chapter again this character's voice is described, "The man's voice was dry, like the rasp of a snake's belly against sand, but coated with a sticky Southern sweetness." This description stood out to me more because of previous one. Again, it jerked me out of the story. I had a hard time understanding and getting into the story because of the odd descriptions. These descriptions were entirely too colourful for me.
On a slightly different, but related note, the first sentence of a books is important. After reading the first sentence, you decide whether or not you will read the rest of the book. This was the first sentence of a book a just finished, "The first time she slit a man's throat she felt sick to her stomach." This is an engaging first line drawing the reader into the story, nearly compelling them to read onward.
The carefully laid word is powerful and can make or break a great storyline.