Saturday, May 26, 2012

Invisible

I'm working on a story. This one has been slow in writing. Mostly, I haven't spent the time with it that I should. I write many pages on it and then I get bored and give up for months and then go back to it. At this rate I might not ever finish it. I am still committed to it and am in a phase of being interested in it again. I am want to know what people think, maybe the acclamation of the masses is what I need to spur me into a writing frenzy. We can only hope. I am posting the first paragraph. I would appreciate any feedback you have. Specifically I want to know if after reading this paragraph you want to read more or are you bored right from the start?


I am invisible. When I was young, we, my brothers and I, used to pick what superpower we wanted to have and then we would play super heroes and villains. I always chose invisibility. I felt so powerful. I felt like I always won because I could claim to always be in the right place or avoid fatal blows, after all I was invisible. My brothers, after a time, didn’t want to play with me; they said I was no fun. If I wanted to play with them I had to pick a super power that fit certain stipulations. I am stubborn. Strong willed is what I call it. I chose to play by myself. I used to think invisibility was a super power, now I know that it is quite common. Others don’t notice that people can be invisible. Only those of us who become invisible know that this power exists. I may not have a super power, but being invisible is powerful. For only those who are invisible know how to make everyone forget them, even those who love them the most. One at a time, people fade from your life as you become invisible to them or maybe it is they who gradually become invisible to you. I’m not really sure which way it goes, all I know is that friends are the first to fade followed by your children, father, brothers, husband, and last and most painfully mother. I am forgotten. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this excerpt. Stay tuned for more exciting writing. 

5 comments:

  1. I agree with unknown that it sounds sad. I do want to know where you are going with this. So, as an opener it isn't bad.

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  2. I wonder where it's going. How's it going to develop?

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  3. I'm interested in seeing where this goes. And yes it does sound sad.

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  4. Thank you all for your feedback. It is sad and my original inspiration came from James chapter one, "The rich man fades away even as he goes about his business" and it took on a life of its own. I know the direction I'm going, but time will tell what the actual outcome is.

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