Cynical Lens

I’m jaded. The lens I look through is clouded by a haze of cynicism. I’m working for a new company starting on Friday. Yesterday we had a day long training, complete with customer service videos. The first video delineated the wonderful aspects of the company with real employees expressing how this company is the best one they have ever worked for. The phrase we are like family kept coming up. My place of employment seems to always be changing and I have sat through many of these videos. At first they inspired me and idealistically I expected the wonders that were expressed, but over time, poor work environments and broken ideals I no longer believe anything in these orientation videos.

I’m jaded. I’m a year and a half into my masters program and I’m fighting apathy. A couple months ago I started the important classes for my profession, the basic classes out of the way, but I find little interest in them. Every time I turn in a paper that I know isn’t very good and lose only a quarter of a point, I lose faith in the quality expected of me. Why should I put in the effort and time to write a great paper if a mediocre paper gets me an A?

This is the way I have lived most of my life. I do what needs doing to get by. When my idealism is stripped away I lose the incentives to put forth my best effort. The sermon my pastor preached today seemed to be made just for me. He talked about how work is important for us, not just to make money and survive, but to thrive. It is part of who we are. He pointed out many proverbs that tell of the foolishness of the sluggard. I would not say I’m a sluggard. I always get to work on time, I always turn in my homework on time, and eventually I get around to washing those dishes. I don’t necessarily do these things well or cheerfully. What would happen if instead of expecting my new company not to live up to what it says it is, I went to work on Friday looking to serve and bless those around me? How would I feel about myself if I took the extra half an hour to proof read my paper and make sure it was great instead of reading a book or watching a movie? How much happier would me and my roommate be if we came home from work and didn’t have to clean the kitchen or vacuum the living room because I did it the day before? How different would my life be if I didn’t allow myself to be a partial sluggard? How would your life change if you chose to live well regardless of your boss, your crappy job, your huge paper, or your complicated relationships?