Thursday, February 2, 2012

Mineral Mask or Bag of Dirt

In one of my stores we sell a bag of red Utah dirt in a small burlap bag. It costs $8.99. You might be wondering why anyone would buy a bag of Utah dirt. I wonder the same thing myself, but let me give you the sales pitch and you too might decide you want or in fact need a bag of Utah dirt of your own.
Red dirt from Utah is rich in minerals. These minerals are in just the right proportions, roasted in the hot sun, with just the right amount of rain fall to create a rich rejuvenating and refreshing mixture. Mix your dirt with just enough water to make a thick paste. Spread the paste evenly across your face making sure to not get it in your mouth or too close to your eyes. Let the paste dry into a hard mask and leave on for 10 minutes. Wash your face in warm water and moisturize. Enjoy freshly exfoliated and younger skin with every use. This is a great product to sell to people who want all natural remedies and also desire to support the local economy. Now I know you too want a bag of dirt.
It is possible that you are more skeptical in nature and may tell me that you still wouldn't buy a bag of dirt especially for $8.99. After all, why this dirt over dirt of all other kinds? I definitely don't want to put dirt all over my face. Well my friend, I have a sales pitch for you too. It might be known as a bag of dirt, but switch the words around and you get a dirt bag. So if you need a joke or are angry with someone you can buy them a dirt bag. So if you need a nice present or a gag gift this simple bag of dirt will suffice. Fret no more this is the perfect gift, you can buy one for you girlfriend as a nice facial mask and buy one for your best friend as a joke.


  1. So, is the Utah dirt better when mixed with Utah water?

  2. Just what the world needs! Dirt!

  3. Or you could eat it. That is a decent price for minerals. I have a friend that says that everyone needs to eat a pound of dirt before they die. Of course it could hasten that day.